|I've wanted to be close to God for years and I've tried but something always falls through. I think it's because when I pray I hear nothing, I don't ever hear voices or see signs I believe in his existence I just feel like there are two ways all in or all out, fake people that pretend to be a follower and people that actually are. What if I don't believe everything? What if I can't give up things in my life and I'm still sinning? How do I follow? How do I fall in Love like I have with your blog?|
My dear anon, I believe the answer to your question is The Holy Spirit!
We can’t in our own strength give up the things in our lives that we love or just stop sinning. It is not “natural” to stop doing the things that satisfy the flesh and go to spend time with a God you cannot see. That’s where the Holy spirit comes in. When Jesus was leaving, He said that He would send us the comforter, the Holy Spirit who will teach us all things. This includes how to love and serve God. I think you should daily pray to God that he should place His love in your heart. Because without the love of God in our lives, serving God or reading the bible would be a chore that we would do daily just for the sake of doing it.
Regarding giving up the things in your life, you have to! I know this is a part that is really hard for me to do also! The Lord is still working with me in this area of giving up EVERYTHING in my life for Him. But it is very important because Luke 14:26 says;
26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. 27 And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
33 So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.”
“Carrying your own cross and following me” means denying your flesh of the things it desires. It means dying to flesh so your spirit can soar. If Jesus says without doing this I CANNOT be His disciple, I am more than willing to deny my flesh. Yes, It would be very hard but with the Holy Spirit and the will power God has given us nothing can be impossible for us!
Also, Hebrews 12:1-4 says
“let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people;[c] then you won’t become weary and give up. 4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.”
Regarding hearing voices and seeing signs, I always put it this way. God always speaks to His children, but most times, our minds and spirits are toooo occupied with the things of this world to hear him or the sin in our lives stop us from hearing Him. Hearing God and feeling His presence greatly come with consistent walk with God and a healthy relationship with Him.
John 14:21 says;
21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”
Also, James 4:8 says;
8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
Don’t be discouraged, if you pray and don’t hear anything, talk to God about it. Tell Him you want to hear from Him and see Him. Even when you can’t hear God or feel Him, he is still with you. He promised NEVER to leave us. Daily spend time talking to God, praising Him and studying His word. Work with the Holy Spirit towards attaining Holiness and righteousness. When you fall, ask for forgiveness and strive to avoid such sins.
Hope this helps. God bless!